I work with a lot of individual and couples who are working on themselves and their relationships. I've noticed that being in a relationship can bring about a lot of underlying feelings, some of those feelings are of inferiority and may be connected to your self-esteem. Low self-esteem often results in stress or anxiety, loneliness and an increase likelihood of depression, it can cause problems in friendships and relationships, it can impair your work or job performance and it can lead to an increased chance of using drugs or alcohol. To address your low self-esteem try to quiet that inner critic voice, try a new hobby and you can always "fake it until you make it." For more ideas on how to raise your self esteem, read an article that I contributed to: upjourney.com/how-to-deal-with-low-self-esteem-in-a-relationship
In a world where everyone wants to be someone.....be yourself. Simple advice, not always as easy to execute.
If you don't know how to be yourself, I recommend self-reflection, meditation and a discussion about what you want with a trusted individual. Hold true to your values and remember, no one else knows your journey.
When working with an individual or a couple, I explore a person or couples strengths and we talk about how to build on them. I also explore the underlining wants and needs that will assist you to be yourself. #gabriellefreiretherapy
Are you searching for a therapist for yourself or a loved one? Do you feel confused about how to find the right therapist? Read this article where I explain how I use engagement skills and encouragement to build the therapeutic relationship with my clients. #gabriellefreiretherapy #therapy #mft
Using engagement and encouragement as a therapy technique: A licensed marriage and family therapist walks you through her therapeutic processby Gabrielle Freire | Sep 21, 2018 | Counseling News, Counseling Techniques, Mental Health | 0 comments
Counseling Feelings Mental Health Therapy Wellbeing
Engagement is a primary focus of the initial portion of treatment. (There are typically 4 phases of treatment: the engagement phase, intake phase, implementation phase and the transition or discharge stage). I start engaging with someone when they first call me and ask me questions about therapy. I ask open ended questions to get the potential client talking about their symptoms and behaviors, that helps me get an idea if I will be able to help him or her (by this I mean to see if I have the experience and training to meet their clinical needs).
If I can help them, I move on to schedule the appointment, I ask their availability versus telling them a date/time that works for me. To also aid with the comfort levels, I tell them info about the first visit including parking suggestions and tell them to wait in the waiting room. That allows the client to not have to worry about when I will get them out of the waiting room. It also helps them plan their trip if they know where to park. Someone who is anxious may worry about finding parking, someone who is depressed may not have the energy to look for parking and give up rather than look for a parking spot.
I ask open ended questions to help them talk about their feelings. The open ended questions helps the potential client understand that I’m interested in them (which I believe builds the relationship). When we have that first phone call, I have an idea if they are depressed, anxious, if they had trauma, ADHD, impulsivity problems etc. That helps me prepare my office/myself for when they come in.
I will act differently with someone who has depression versus someone who is anxious. For example, for an anxious person, I may talk in a calm voice and try to let them talk more than say a depressed person who may not have as much energy to formulate questions. I put myself in their shoes and talk about things that I think they may want to know (not that I’m all knowing but I do know that coming in to a therapy office may be overwhelming and they may forget to ask questions). Someone who had trauma may need me to move a little slower and not make any quick body movements which they might interpret as jarring.
Other ways I help a client feel comfortable is by using active listening skills; reflecting back what they said to me, not interrupting, nodding my head when they speak. Those are all great ways to connect with the client. I ask them, “how did that make you feel” versus “you were feeling sad.” Also, matching body language is another way; it works on the subconscious mind, so if the client’s legs are crossed, I may also cross my legs. I don’t cross my arms even if they have their arms crossed because arm crossing is more noticeable and I wouldn’t want the client to feel that I was disconnected from them or I disapproved of what they were saying. I will even slightly nod my head when they are talking so they can see me validating what they are saying.
Additionally, I almost always end a session asking if they had any questions. That allows for clarification and also demonstrates that I value their input in their treatment. I also write treatment plan goals with their input and never reject an idea for treatment. I don’t laugh at them if they share something out of the ordinary and don’t laugh at them if they make a mistake.
What triggers a depressive episode? There are a lot of different reasons why a person experiences depression including after a death or break up, loss of friends or even being in a situation that they can't change (such as children who are bullied and can't stay safe or for adults having money problems).
Symptoms of depression include: a depressed mood most days, a diminished interest in all, or almost all, activities most of the days, weight loss when you are not trying, an appetite change (either eating more or less), feeling worthless and diminished ability to concentrate.
If you or a loved one is experiencing these symptoms contact me for a consultation to see how I may help, gabriellefreiretherapy.com
Therapy can be beneficial especially if you're open to learning new skills or challenging long term beliefs but let's face it, it is also work. I like to think of therapy as the ultimate Loading or Unloading Zone. When I work with an individual or couple, I try to have them unload some of the sad stuff or the negative thoughts and feelings that really aren't helpful, such as shame or guilt. The Loading part of therapy occurs when you "load up" on the healthier thoughts and when you practice/rehearse healthier interactions (such as communication skills or negotiation skills). If you're interested in dealing with the negative thoughts and feelings that are getting in the way of your happiness contact me today for a consultation and let's get started on your journey!
After a busy week I let to relax on Sunday's. One of the ways I relax is by reading. This weekend I plan to catch up on my Psychology Today articles and get started on (re)reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you're struggling with your partner, there are are very useful tips in this book. In addition to working with families, I also provide couples counseling and use the skills presented in this book in my couples counseling. #therapy #gabriellefreiretherapy
I have worked with a lot of families and I know that communicating isn't always easy, and if you're angry, forget about it, communication skills often go out the window. We know that words are powerful, and I know that when someone is angry or irritated they may not practice the best communication skills, so here are a few things to review:
Being a parent isn't easy and I'm sure you feel the crunch for time now that your child has returned to school. You may noticed a change with their behavior since returning to school, perhaps they aren't sleeping through the night, or their eating habits have changed (either increasing or decreasing). If you have noticed a change it may be time to connect with them emotionally and give them the space to talk about what they are feeling.
Here are a few things to consider when you are talking to your child about their feelings: